It seems like only yesterday I got engaged, but the big day is a little over four months away. Before we dive into all of the details (I promise I won’t make this a wedding blog!) I wanted to share a little more about the wedding planning process and what I’m learning along the way. For many of us, a wedding will be the biggest event you’ll ever plan in your life. Combine that with a lack of experience planning weddings (or large events at all) and a desire to make things “perfect,” and it can quickly spiral and become overwhelming!
If you have any tips, please send them my way. Thankfully there are so many wedding planning checklists on the internet, the below is my take on the main steps you need to take to start the wedding planning process. Once these are done, all of the other little details are up to you to determine how much you want to invest in your day.
So far the process has had its ups and downs, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any minor freak outs… but at the end of the day it has also been the most fun I’ve ever had planning something. Knowing that at the end of it all, I’ll be married to the person I love more than anything, is motivating and rewarding enough.
Steps to Planning a Wedding
+Step One: Figure out your budget
When you’re ready – for some people, this will be as soon as they are newly engaged, for others, it might take months or longer – figure out your budget. This will determine your entire day. Have an honest and open conversation about how much you plan on spending, and where the money will come from. If you aren’t used to discussing money with your significant other, it’s ok! This conversation might take some time, but it’s important to have a number set from the get-go. (Sticking to this budget is another conversation, but we’ll save that for another day). Also, be ready for some sticker shock. Anything related to weddings will be more expensive than you expected (paper goods, wedding cakes, vendors…).
Once you have your budget, find a wedding planning budget template to get an idea of initial costs/budget for every line item. You may want to spend more in certain areas and sacrifice in others to make your budget work for you.
+ Step Two: Decide on the big things.
Once you have a budget, it’s time to talk about big discussions. Where will you get married? What time of year will the wedding be? And how big is the guest list? What is the date? Keep in mind Saturday weddings will be the most expensive and competitive for venues and vendors, but it is also the most convenient date for most guests, especially if they have to travel in.
On top of finances, these are cornerstone decisions that will shape your day and all of the decisions leading up to it. A big decision will be how long of an engagement you want. The pros of a longer engagement – more time to plan, save, and a higher likelihood of securing your first choice venue and vendors. But it’s really up to you! Our engagement will end up being a little under 11 months, and the time has absolutely flown by.
+ Step Three: Determine if you plan on hiring a planner or not.
Planning a wedding is not for the faint of heart. I am personally a huge proponent of hiring a planner if your budget allows for it – having someone who has gone through the planning process before will make your experience so much less stressful. If you don’t like getting bogged down in little details (wedding planning is FULL of these), you should also consider a planner – they’ll help you come up with your aesthetic and vision, and then coordinate the vendors and supplies needed to execute it. Trust me when I say this is incredibly important! If you’re planning your wedding far away from your venue, a planner will also ease some of the logistics, provide expertise, and help you find local vendors.
+ Step Four: Make the guestlist
From experience and observation, this tends to be one of the most stressful steps. How many family members will be invited from each side? How many friends? Learning how to communicate and compromise with each other will be paramount throughout the process. It’s a great preview and test for your upcoming marriage ; ). Sit down (with a bottle of wine) and go through the list. You might have to make some tough calls on who gets an invite, and who gets a +1.
+ Step Five: Find a venue
A good planner will help you find a venue, but if you already have a dream venue or a handful of ideas in mind, even better! The most popular wedding venues will book up a year or more in advance. So keep this in mind when you search for venues. Venue hunting can be incredibly time consuming, so Google is your best friend here. Look for online reviews and photos from other weddings to get a feeling for the space. What are the pros and cons of the venue? Again, compromise is important here! Want a gorgeous outdoor reception? You might have to prepare a contingency plan in case of bad weather. Do you prefer different venues for the ceremony and reception? Make sure you account for and properly plan how guests will get from Point A to Point B.
+ Step Six: Determine your wedding style
Classic, urban, beachy, modern, romantic, rustic, bohemian… who knew there so many styles of wedding? If you don’t know where to begin, look for inspiration on Instagram, wedding magazines, and wedding blogs. You’ll soon get a sense of what aesthetic you like. Every wedding magazine/blog has a different style. For example, Green Wedding Shoes is suited for the bohemian bride, while Martha Stewart Weddings tend to be more classic and formal. You don’t have to be locked into any major decisions yet. Take some time to do research, create a Pinterest board and think about what feels the most you. Putting together a mood board of images and details you love, colors you like, and non-negotiables (what’s most important – food? Music? Dancing?) will help you formulate an idea of what your dream wedding looks like.
+ Step Seven: Search for and secure the big vendors
Once you have a loose idea of your wedding style, it’s time to start assembling your team. These are the people who will bring your vision to life. Do you plan on hiring a caterer, florist, photographer, and videographer? Start researching vendors as soon as you have an idea of what your wedding style is (see the step above). Don’t be afraid to interview your potential vendors, and negotiate with them. Similar to venues, popular vendors will get booked far in advance as well.
You want to find someone whose work you admire, but also whose personality you vibe with. Especially photographers and videographers – these vendors will be capturing your wedding day, so you want to make sure you feel comfortable around them and trust them. When speaking with photographers, see if it is possible to do an engagement session with them prior to the wedding – many photographers will include this in their wedding package.
+ Step Eight: Say Yes to the Dress
One of the most exciting parts of wedding planning is shopping for a wedding dress. I loved wedding dress shopping and made sure to try on all of the dresses and designers I loved. There are so many beautiful dresses in the market now for every style of bride. My favorite places to shop in LA were Vera Wang and Loho Bride, but there’s a store for everyone. You’ll learn quickly what styles and silhouettes flatter your body, and if you have a preference for one.
I actually went to several appointments myself because I knew I didn’t want to be swayed by anyone else’s opinion. Although you don’t want to rush into making a decision, keep in mind you will want to order your dress at least 5 or 6 months before the wedding to leave time for tailoring and alterations. Made to order gowns require even longer to avoid a rush fee, so keep this timeline in mind when you shop.
+ Step Nine: Send Save the Dates
Once you have the big pieces in place, it’s time to start letting guests know when the wedding date is so they can hold the date and begin making travel arrangements. We opted to forego printed save the dates for the sake of time in favor of a digital version from Bliss and Bone (one of my favorite wedding finds that I’ll go into more in another post!). We didn’t miss the paper at all, and were able to get the word out more quickly than if we had to design the save the date ourselves. For affordable templates and printing, I really love Minted. Now is a good time to begin making a wedding website and planning out your paper goods vendor as well.
+ Step Ten: Take Engagement Photos
Whether it’s with your wedding photographer or someone else, engagement photos are a great way to practice for the big day and have a snapshot of a special period of time in your relationship. It isn’t essential to do by any means, but photos last forever. It’s also a great excuse to get glammed up and shop for a new outfit.
I could go on and on about the other steps to planning a wedding. From determining your bridal party to launching a wedding website, to planning a bachelorette party, to creating a registry, planning a wedding can feel like a never-ending to-do list. The most important thing that I’ve had to remind myself is to take a deep breath and a step back to enjoy being engaged – it’s a special time in your relationship you only get to experience once. Enjoy being a fiancé, plan regular date nights, and hold each other when things get stressful. Have fun putting together a playlist of your favorite songs, and get your significant other involved with the big decisions over a bottle of wine. It’ll make the planning process so much easier and more fun to create a joint vision and bring it to life.
On that note, I will say that in most relationships, the woman will care more about the wedding details than the guy. That isn’t to say he doesn’t care – but he probably doesn’t care about linens, color palettes, table settings, etc… : ).
My brides-to-be and married readers – what are your best wedding planning tips and tricks? xx
dress: spell | hat: janessa leone | bag: similar | shoes: raye the label
