Happy MLK Day!! I was fortunate enough to have the day off, and let me say – it was so nice and relaxing, but how do freelancers/work from home peeps do it?! I feel like I got very little done and the day just flew by. How do you stay motivated and on schedule? Please share! I’ll keep today’s thoughts on change post brief. Not to get into the nitty gritty, but I’ve been going through a lot of change right now in my life. And it seems like there’s a lot of change going on in the world as well.
Change is scary.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Thoughts On Change? Embrace It!
It all depends on the way you choose to view the world. Me? My new thing is to view it favorably. Accept it and embrace it. I finally finished You Are a Badass and it made me want to grab the bull by the horns and face all of the change that’s happening head on and with a positive and open mindset.
For a while, I was really content. And with that feeling came complacency. I figured I’d make changes in my life, but it would happen on my terms. Well, guess what? The universe doesn’t work that way. Just when you think you have things figured out in life/love/career/anything, the universe likes to throw a wrench in your plans. The lesson I learned is that while you’re sitting there waiting for things to happen, the rest of the world is moving on without you. People are hustling and making things happen every. single. day.
You know the saying “fortune favors the brave”?
I thought hard about it and decided that’s how I want to take on uncertainty in the future. By being brave and facing my fears and the unknown.
My motto for this year is to grab life by the balls and make things happen. (Excuse my language.)
Rather than waiting for change to happen, take control of your own life and create your own opportunities. How’s that for #mondaymotivation?
Tomorrow is technically my Monday, so I’ll be needing all the caffeine I can get after a 3 day weekend. Call me a basic West Hollywood bitch, but Alfred Coffee totally got me with their limited edition Minnie Mouse sleeves. TOO CUTE. You can bet I’ll be going back for more. On a side note: this sweater dress is my current lazy day fave, I also love this one and this one.
Happy Friday, babes! Can I just say I am ready for the weekend?! And it’s a long one too, yay! I wanted to introduce some new topics into the blog – I don’t blog full time, and I figured it’s about time I introduce the other side of my life (the one that takes up the majority of my week) into the blog. I want to start talking about issues that every career gal encounters, regardless of your profession.
Today I want to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. The end of 2016 and start of the new year had everyone all like “new year, new me” – tons of reflecting and goal setting for the new year – I LOVE that kind of energy. One thing that I’ve been coming across a lot lately is the topic of mentorship. So let’s talk about it, and get into why you need a mentor.
Why You Need a Mentor
My 9-5 is in a corporate setting. I sit at a desk, have lots of meetings, and think and talk about climbing the corporate ladder a lot. In this environment, the term “mentor” is thrown around a lot. But regardless of whether you sit in an office or freelance from home, if you’re looking to make moves and grow, you need a mentor. Something I’ve obsessed: every successful person has had help. You don’t get to where you are without a little help along the way.
So now you’re probably thinking: what exactly is a mentor, and where do I find one?
A mentor is someone you trust that can help guide and advise you as you go through your professional journey. They don’t necessarily have to be older, but they often are. They’re in a position to teach, challenge, and support you by sharing their life experiences, knowledge, and networks. These are people that have found success in their own lives and want to see you succeed in yours. They have a vested interest in your growth and success and provide the resources and support you need to get to where you want to be.
They don’t do all the work for you, but they dohelp you become the best version of yourself and face challenges in your career head on. It’s like having a coach, cheerleader, teacher, and friend all in one. If it sounds too good to be true, it’s not.
It comes down to finding the right person.
As Sheryl Sandberg talks about in her book Lean In, you don’t find a mentor by going up to someone and asking them to be your mentor. I’m not the biggest fan of networking, but there are similar ties to networking. It has to develop organically and feel right to both parties. More often than not, someone who wants to be your mentor will ask you and offer to play that role in your life.
Begin by thinking of qualities and attributes you admire and respect. Make a list if it helps. Then begin to look for these qualities in the people that are already in your network. Try to identify them in people you may not know. Go to events, make introductions, meet as many people as possible. When you meet someone that you admire and respect, be sure to introduce yourself and exchange contact information.
But here’s the most important thing – follow up.
You’d be surprised how many people want to help others and offer up their knowledge and experiences. Giving back feels good, and at a certain point in your life it becomes one the most rewarding part of your career. The problem is most people don’t follow up. Sounds so silly but it’s true. I remember when I was recruiting for my first full time job out of college, I was always told to collect business cards at networking events and send a thank you email after. Whenever I had an interview, I was taught to always send a thank you email. Did the recruiter actually read the email? Probably not. Did they always remember who I was? Maybe. The point is, I followed up.
Fast forward a couple years when I began helping out with recruiting at my consulting job and now where I still help with recruiting for my new team. We speak to so many candidates and it continues to boggle my mind how many people do not follow up. It doesn’t hurt to send an email to thank someone for their time or ask if you can take them to coffee/lunch. The worst thing that could happen is… they don’t respond. Not a big deal at all.
To sum it all up: meet people.
Find the ones you look up to and connect with. Follow up with them. Let relationships grow organically. Surround yourself with people that are positive and lift you up, and embody the qualities you wish to have and the lead the lives you wish to live yourself.
Happy Weekend, babes! Talk soon.
xx, Amy
Outfit deets below:
If you don’t have a moto shearling jacket yet, you need on in your closet! The one I’m wearing in the photos is from Minkpink, but other great alternatives can be found here, here, and here. Happy shopping babes!
I’ve been getting a lot of messages lately asking for blogging tips or advice. I’ll be doing a Q&A post soon (if you have any questions leave them below) but I wanted to quickly touch on the question I get most often, which is “what advice do you have for new bloggers?”
If I had to sum it up in one phrase:
Don’t be a perfectionist.
Seriously.
I alluded to it in this post. If you’re trying to start something new, Nike said it best.
Just do it.
Who cares if you make a mistake or it’s not perfect? You’re starting from scratch. The only thing worse than doing something to get started is doing nothing. Does that make sense?
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” So take your first step. If you’re trying to study for a test, you have to read the first page. If you want to lose weight, you have to go to the gym for the first time. And if you want to learn a new language, you have to learn that first word. We all start at square one and go from there.
I was really adamant about just starting my blog and learning how to put posts together on the go. Were my first posts amazing content that changed people’s lives? No, but it was a start. I had zero readers anyway (except my mom, LOVE YOU) and if I was going to fumble around and make spelling/grammatical errors and misformat my posts, that was the time to do it. I still make lots of mistakes. It happens. You learn and you grow. You move on. I could have spent months preparing my blog, choosing between three different blog themes, writing and re-writing posts until I was 100% satisfied. But then I wouldn’t have launched when I did. In fact, I might have never launched at all.
When you’re just starting out at anything, chances are you’re experimenting and learning.
You’re bound to make mistakes. But you’re going to get better. When I first started blogging, I didn’t know anything. Arguably I still don’t know anything, ha! I didn’t know how to set up a website, edit my photos, organize my Instagram, look at blog or social analytics. And I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, how to write a post, what it meant to “find my voice” or “create content.” Seriously. I was starting from ground zero. And unless you’re a social media maven or digital expert, you’ll be in a similar situation. But that’s what was so exciting to me about starting a blog.
I’m not saying you should be careless in your actions and do bad work. But being a perfectionist, while having its bonuses, can also leave you paralyzed in the face of action and overly self-critical. The point is you are always changing. You learn and you grow. I’m not perfect and I’m not always content with where I am (although I’m trying to be more present and happy with the now). Who cares if the blogging market is “saturated”? I’m on a journey to improve myself and my blog, to learn something new every day, and focus my energy on creating better content. It’s not realistic to look at someone who has been blogging for a long time and hope to start today and be where they are.
Not gonna happen.
You need to take your own time to find your own voice, figure out what sparks a fire inside of you, and how you want to express yourself. That’s the best part of having a blog, or any sort of “creative outlet” – you learn a lot about yourself and the story you want to tell. At the end of the day, isn’t that what matters? #cheesybuttrue
Happy 2017!! What are everyone’s New Year resolutions/goals for the year? I’ve been all too guilty of making resolutions in the past and forgetting about them after a couple weeks (let’s be honest, who hasn’t done that?). In the spirit of setting goals and being more intentional with my time and energy in 2017, I try to focus on broader themes for my life. I read this article before the holidays and it really resonated and has stuck since then. If you have a minute, I highly recommend reading for yourself, especially if you’re in a similar situation (hate going out, feel boring staying in).
Do What Makes You Happy
As someone who is definitely more of a homebody (my idea of the perfect NYE is at home on the couch – definitely someone in her mid-twenties going on her 50s…) and in a serious relationship (Netflix and chill is a literal lifestyle, plus some Postmates), I felt like Anxious Homebody was speaking my language. But what was said after went beyond going out/being social/remedying the stress that comes with feeling like you should go out but you don’t want to. What was said next summed up how I want to approach my life and live in the new year.
“Do exactly what you like to do and don’t pay attention to other people’s expectations of how you should live. I spent too long trying to please other people. Trying to counteract my natural impulses, trying to hide what I truly enjoyed and trying to enjoy things (and people!) I didn’t enjoy, and I was never served by that, for a second. I wound up making plans that didn’t excite me and building dissatisfying relationships with people who didn’t make sense to me.
…Make peace with who you are. The more you’re in touch with the things you love to do and in touch with the things you really, deeply dislike, the better off you’ll be. When you feel guilty and ashamed of what you want, all you do is fuck shit up. You bail at the last minute; you hide your true desires; and you treat friends badly. Instead, recognize the value of female friends and find ways to see them that don’t involve dancing and drinking until 3 a.m. Expressing yourself clearly, without guilt, and telling people what you want directly goes a long way.”
Moral of the story? Do what makes you happy.
Be honest with yourself and focus your time and energy on the things that matter, the things that you love doing and the people you love spending time with. Invest in those people and those activities. Stop wasting your time on the other stuff. You’ll be a better friend and human when you’re not making plans you don’t want to do and wishing you were doing other things. There’s no point in doing things you don’t want to do to please other people or putting more time in a toxic relationship.
Similar to Marie Kondo’s book on helping you de-clutter, evaluate the way you’re spending your time. Does it spark joy? If not, then it may be time to rethink that activity or relationship. This applies to more tactical resolutions as well. Looking to lose weight? Find an activity you enjoy doing instead of forcing yourself to do exercise you hate. You’ll be more likely to stick with it in the long run. Looking to make a career change? Take your time in finding the intersection of what you love to do and what you’re good at. We’re all going to be working for a long time, so you might as well not rush into something only to have to start over again.
Do what makes you happy.
Not exactly a resolution, but a mantra for my year. New year, new you. As cliche as it is, there’s no better time to make positive changes in your life. Let’s make this year the best one yet.
I’m such a cliche but the time between Christmas and Jan. 1 has me feeling so sentimental and introspective. My family was in town for the holidays and I took a much-needed break from social media and blogging. If you were to ask me how my year was, I would say “eh it was ok.” Not being a Negative Nancy, but 2016 wasn’t my favorite year, you know? But then I think about it some more and realize that there is a lot to be grateful for. There were ups and downs, but when I look back and think about the year as a whole, a lot of awesome things happened. I’m all about staying positive and practicing gratitude, so I thought I’d share some of my favorite memories and blog highlights of 2016.
Travel
Some of my favorite trips I’ve ever taken were in 2016. I’m not always able to get away as much as I’d like with work and life, so the time I get to spend away is incredibly precious and important. I really believe in taking breaks for yourself and not running yourself into the ground (you’ll get more done in the long run) and taking a little vacation is the best way to do so.
I started the year in Thailand – my kind of NYE. No fancy dress or party, just relaxed beach vibes. Read my recap here.
I don’t often want to return to destinations I visit right away, but Tulum completely won my heart over. If you haven’t been yet, you need to go immediately. Part 1 and Part 2 of my trip in case you’re looking to plan a getaway ; ).
And of course, Italy. Specifically the Amalfi Coast. Absolutely unreal and the highlight of my year.
Outfits
I wasn’t sure what shape or form my blog would take (and it’s changing every day), but I started off as primarily a style blog and that is what has resonated most with my readers. I feel incredibly fortunate that 2016 provided me the opportunity to work with several brands and really help me learn about the ins and outs of the blogging industry. At the same time, it’s important to me that not every item featured on my page is gifted or an ad, so I make a point to feature many brands and items that I buy on my own and would wear anyway. Here are some of the most popular outfit posts of the year.
