Real Talk: How to Not Compare Yourself to Others
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while. I see it all the time – and am totally guilty of doing it. I held off on discussing this because I was looking for the answer myself. Whatever your career is, it’s totally natural to compare yourself to other people. Usually it doesn’t make you feel great about yourself. Honestly, what’s the point of comparing yourself to others?
So, I asked around – my boyfriend, close friends, mentors, and of course, my mom. Because moms always know best. The big takeaway? Kind of obvious, but comparing yourself to other people does – shocker! – absolutely nothing for you.
Real Talk: How to Not Compare Yourself to Others
Here’s the best advice I’ve received on how to not compare yourself to others
Be busy.
When I’m busy and fulfilled in my own life, I don’t have time to think about other people and what they’re doing. It’s easy to compare ourselves to other people when we’re idle. If you have a lot of spare time, maybe pick up a new hobby or lean into your career or family. I’ve found myself doing a lot of comparing when I’m on social media a lot – so I’ve learned to put down the phone more often and appreciate the situation in the present that I’m living in. Ideally, I would like to go on a tech detox for a day or a week. Anyone done this? With a busy weekday work schedule, a new puppy, and trying to balance the blog and a social schedule, there hasn’t been much time for social media or comparison lately.
Practice gratitude.
Instead of focusing on the things that you don’t have, focus on those that you do. As a blogger, I am obviously on social media a lot, constantly seeing images of “the perfect life.” What’s really important to remember here is social media is not real life. Although we’re seeing more and more scenes of “real life” on social media, at the end of the day it’s still incredibly curated.
One of the best quotes I’ve seen about social media: “don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.” Not everything on social media is as it seems, and you’d be surprised to see how different someone’s social media self can be from their actual self.
Being thankful and appreciative for the things you do have makes a huge difference. Whether it’s by keeping a daily gratitude journal or practicing yoga, being grateful for the little things helps tremendously when it comes to comparing yourself to others.
Surround yourself with people that lift you up.
Having a strong support system is everything, especially in those moments when you doubt yourself or just need an ear to listen. Not even ashamed to admit that I call my mom every single day after work. We talk about our days and what’s going on in our lives. Same goes for my close friends – they know everything about me. With that said, my boyfriend always says: choose your friends wisely, because you are the average of your five closest friends.
Look inward.
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people, it might be time to take a harder look at yourself. Almost everyone I spoke to talked about the power of meditation. Also, the general consensus seemed to be that the older and more mature you became, the fewer f*cks you tended to give about other people. So in that sense, getting older isn’t such a bad thing. I really love this quote from The Skinny Confidential: “stay in your own lane.”
Who cares what other people are doing in their lane? Stay in your own and focus on yourself. SUCH good advice, and so true – I just had to share. The best way to not compare yourself to others is by being personally fulfilled and finding meaning in your life.
This is some of the best advice I’ve gotten on how to not compare yourself to others. Anyone else have any experiences or advice they want to share??
All right – going to cap off the end of a busy work week with a glass (or two) of wine. Have sooo many goodies for festival season that I can’t wait to share! Thanks so much to the amazing girls at Show Me Your Mumu, B Low the Belt, and Flair the Label for all the fun today : ). If you’re looking for festival outfits, be sure to check them out!!
PS – outfit deets are below. Matching jacket and shorts are from ASTARS – I’ve gotten SO many compliments on the jacket.
jacket: astars | shorts: astars | tee: z supply | shoes: raye | bag: gucci
I could not be behind this post more!! Comparison is a trap. It kills off your confidence, it fills you with confusion and what is more, it is silly because it is always based on assumptions that having or being something different would make you happy. Yet you have no idea how much it took for that person to be in that situation nor how they really feel. So silly! We all have so much to offer and being yourself is your magic power!
xx Jenelle
http://www.inspiringwit.com
I totally agree with what you said about being idle. It is the completely destructive, and I was go as far to say that every nasty person I have ever encountered in life has had too much free time on their hands. Best to keep your self fulfilled and follow your passions. That way you will be happy and working doing what you love 🙂
Adrianna x
http://mimamochi.com/
Really loving this advice! It’s such a difficult thing to do sometimes, but focusing on yourself instead of others is the key. Your outfit here is really cute btw!
Vanessa
http://www.theretropenguin.com
Amazing outfit!Those shoes are amazing:-)
http://www.lostindaydreams.com/
Everything you said here is true 🙂 Great advice !
xx
http://www.dylanasuarez.com
Another beautifully written and insightful post. Loving your look, as well! <3
xx Sara
http://stylemba.com/
Great covering this topic because this is something that a lot of girls struggle with. Like you said, I find being grateful for what I have the best cure! You look beautiful.
http://www.fashionradi.com
wow I really love this!!!!
http://www.londonstylegirl.com
I agree with this post 100% babe! Comparing yourself to others is utterly pointless.. although it is definitely something I struggle with at times too. It’s so important to remember to be yourself and focus on doing your own thing, thanks for the advice!
x Emily
http://shedoes.com.au
Thank you so much for this little tidbit of inspirational words! It’s true, we should never compare ourselves to others because that’s what ultimately destroys us and our confidence. It’s a little difficult sometimes, especially as a blogger, but it definitely helps to be grateful and try to look at all of the positivity in our lives! 🙂 Thank you again love, and have a great week! <3
XO, Elizabeth
http://clothestoyouuu.com/
Love your words and so well writte. Btw, just love this outfit! 🙂
Nati xx
http://www.simplyartdicted.com
this post is so amazing Amy, and i love your star necklace!!!
xx,
Areli’s April
Areli’s April on Bloglovin
Ahh this is such a great post, thank you for writing this! I definitely needed this reminder as I’ve found myself trapped in the comparison game on social media this past week, hence why I decided to take a break.
Love that you talk to your mom everyday, I really should call mine more often 🙈 And I love your outfit too, the prints are gorgeous!
Jenny // Geeky Posh
I love this post (well, I love all your posts), but this one really speaks to everyone. As bloggers we always compare ourselves, our numbers, our content to everyone else and that gets us nowhere! All of your tips are so true and very helpful to keep in mind on a daily basis. Comparing yourself to others only brings you down so for me, I always think am I improving, am I growing, am I closer to my goal? And if all those answers are yes, then who cares what everyone else is doing. This printed set is too cute. I love that you can wear them together or as separate pieces. I cannot wait for all your festival looks because you are such a boho goddess Amy! xoxo, Christine
http://dailykongfidence.com/
Whaaaa really love your suit!! Super cute and with that bag and those shoes, it is super chic! Hope you had the best weekend and thank you for your article! Xx Susanne – http://bagatyou.com
I really like your attitude and I totally agree with you. It’s so important to stay true to yourself and just do what you know is the best for you.
Your outfit is so on point too, you look flawless <3
xx, Carmen – http://www.carmitive.com
Wow, this is one great post Amy. And I’m loving the outfit, definitely perfect this season.
this is such an amazing post,
It seems that I alWAYS compare myself to others and it’s really poisoning what you do, who you are and your thoughts.
great tipps and such an amazing look 😀
with love your AMELY ROSE
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