Happy 2017!! What are everyone’s New Year resolutions/goals for the year? I’ve been all too guilty of making resolutions in the past and forgetting about them after a couple weeks (let’s be honest, who hasn’t done that?). In the spirit of setting goals and being more intentional with my time and energy in 2017, I try to focus on broader themes for my life. I read this article before the holidays and it really resonated and has stuck since then. If you have a minute, I highly recommend reading for yourself, especially if you’re in a similar situation (hate going out, feel boring staying in).
Do What Makes You Happy
As someone who is definitely more of a homebody (my idea of the perfect NYE is at home on the couch – definitely someone in her mid-twenties going on her 50s…) and in a serious relationship (Netflix and chill is a literal lifestyle, plus some Postmates), I felt like Anxious Homebody was speaking my language. But what was said after went beyond going out/being social/remedying the stress that comes with feeling like you should go out but you don’t want to. What was said next summed up how I want to approach my life and live in the new year.
“Do exactly what you like to do and don’t pay attention to other people’s expectations of how you should live. I spent too long trying to please other people. Trying to counteract my natural impulses, trying to hide what I truly enjoyed and trying to enjoy things (and people!) I didn’t enjoy, and I was never served by that, for a second. I wound up making plans that didn’t excite me and building dissatisfying relationships with people who didn’t make sense to me.
…Make peace with who you are. The more you’re in touch with the things you love to do and in touch with the things you really, deeply dislike, the better off you’ll be. When you feel guilty and ashamed of what you want, all you do is fuck shit up. You bail at the last minute; you hide your true desires; and you treat friends badly. Instead, recognize the value of female friends and find ways to see them that don’t involve dancing and drinking until 3 a.m. Expressing yourself clearly, without guilt, and telling people what you want directly goes a long way.”
Moral of the story? Do what makes you happy.
Be honest with yourself and focus your time and energy on the things that matter, the things that you love doing and the people you love spending time with. Invest in those people and those activities. Stop wasting your time on the other stuff. You’ll be a better friend and human when you’re not making plans you don’t want to do and wishing you were doing other things. There’s no point in doing things you don’t want to do to please other people or putting more time in a toxic relationship.
Similar to Marie Kondo’s book on helping you de-clutter, evaluate the way you’re spending your time. Does it spark joy? If not, then it may be time to rethink that activity or relationship. This applies to more tactical resolutions as well. Looking to lose weight? Find an activity you enjoy doing instead of forcing yourself to do exercise you hate. You’ll be more likely to stick with it in the long run. Looking to make a career change? Take your time in finding the intersection of what you love to do and what you’re good at. We’re all going to be working for a long time, so you might as well not rush into something only to have to start over again.
Do what makes you happy.
Not exactly a resolution, but a mantra for my year. New year, new you. As cliche as it is, there’s no better time to make positive changes in your life. Let’s make this year the best one yet.
xx, Amy
dress: privacy please (on sale!) | jacket: moon river (on sale!) | hat: similar
