Becoming Bride-Chilla: How to Handle Wedding Planning Stress

Everyone says wedding planning is a huge undertaking no matter the size or scale of your event. If you think about it, when have you ever coordinated and executed such an elaborate event in your life?! Every person’s idea of their wedding day is different, for some it’s a simple elopement, for others it’s a multi-day 500 person affair. There’s no right or wrong way to do it! At the end of the day, it’s your day and ultimately about what you want. So there should be no stress, right?

If only it could be so simple!! Wedding planning is a process, and over the course of planning, there will inevitably be stress and some uncomfortable conversations. Whenever there are so many factors at play – differences in opinion, family members involved, a tight timeline, a seemingly infinite to-do list, and a lot of money being spent, on top of trying to balance work/life/wellness/a social life/make time for your fiancé (aka you know, life), something’s bound to erupt. (I’ve heard that this is normal, but if anyone has had a wedding planning experience with zero experience, please do share!!).

With that said… I have been doing my best to stay calm (no one likes a bridezilla!!) and find ways to relieve stress while wedding planning. I wouldn’t say I’m a chill bride as I’m way too type A to ever be so laid back about planning (you should see my vacation itineraries), but I think everyone in my life would agree that lowering my stress levels is good for not only my own health but also those around me : ).

How to handle wedding planning stress

+ Be proactive

Some of the planning stress is inevitable, other parts can be somewhat mitigated with some planning and being proactive. There are so many great resources available to help brides-to-be plan their wedding – download a wedding checklist or two, and do your best to stay on track. If you’re planning on hiring a planner, this will help you stay on track and make sure no detail is forgotten.

+ Delegate

I’m terrible at this and tend to try to take on everything myself. But with a project this large it helps so much to delegate. Get your fiancé, friends, and family members involved. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness! If you want to do a lot of DIY elements, enlist the help of your family and friends (bribe them with dinner or wine). Have a big guest list? Put on a fun playlist and stuff envelopes with your fiancé. Ask a girlfriend with killer music taste to make a playlist. Have your bridesmaids help with planning the bachelorette. Little favors go a long way – and so does a thank you!

+ Workout

I’ve tried to like meditation. I really, really have. I’ve come to terms that it isn’t for me, at this point in my life. Working out is my daily stress reliever. Yes, I try to do it daily or as close to daily as possible. Life gets crazy and stressful regardless of whether you’re planning a wedding or not, and moving my body is what I’ve found to work best for me. It also doesn’t hurt to add in exercises or classes to help you achieve whatever fitness goals you have in mind for your wedding.

+ Pamper yourself

Self-care is great in theory, but it often falls to the wayside when life gets in the way. Take your engagement as an opportunity to finally pamper yourself the way you deserve to be. Whether that’s in the form of facials, massages, manicures, or other treatments, pampering yourself is a great way to unwind from the stress.

+ Take a break

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. Wedding planning doesn’t have to be a 24/7 job. It’s ok to leave an email unresponded to for a day or two. Decisions don’t have to be made overnight. Most things simply aren’t that urgent. All of the little details and vendor contracts can wait – ultimately, the only thing that matters is getting to marry and spend the rest of your life with your person.

+ Date your fiancé

Throughout the process, this is the person that matters the most. Make time for them. Set up date nights and time to connect with each other. A couple years ago, I realized that AJ and I rarely had dedicated time for each other. Other plans would come up and we’d put our relationship on the backburner. It was only after we set aside one night a week for a date night that we were able to carve out the time that was for us – and only us – and have a time and space to reconnect every week. It’s made a huge difference in the health of our relationship and gives us the chance to catch up and check-in with each other regularly. We love going out for sushi or opening a bottle of wine at home, but you can do whatever feels the most you.

+ Shift your mindset

The most important thing I’ve learned is that most of the stress that arises during wedding planning isn’t relevant in the grand scheme of things. Your friends and family will be happy to celebrate your marriage and no one will notice if anything goes wrong (which, inevitably, something will). Things that feel significant during the moment will fade, you won’t even remember most of the little details or arguments a year from now. The engagement period will fly by, so try to enjoy every second of it and the wedding planning process. That’s what I try to remind myself everyday : ).